I hate to open my thoughts-on-page with something
of a profanity but……. "come back here, you little shit!” These words were screamed in high anger at a
two year old boy running down the supermarket aisle this week, shouted by his
grandmother in the presence of his mother who said nothing. The queue and I were dumbly shocked. We exchanged glances and unspoken
condemnation passed between us. No one challenged. Should we?
But it has stayed with me for days.
Some part of me feels that those people probably love that child, they’d
probably defend him at all costs, yet what damage do they put into his young
forming mind? In the same week I heard a
story from an ex Oxfam worker – he was telling how, during a great famine, he
had approached a starving baby, all eager to save it; equipped as he was with a
tube feeder. He was waved away by the
mother; “he has suffered enough, let him die”.
Such love, such a giving love. What
a contrast, and brought by accident of birth and ill fortune of war.
People often say (do they still?) ‘What do you
want to be when you grow up?’ to young children. I wanted to be a mother, that was it. At one time that would have been admired, but
not now, now the Government and society look down on the stay-at-home Mum, the
career woman is the flavour of the day, the successful, be the same as a man
woman is king. And good for her. I’m not ever going to enter a march for Women’s
rights, and I like a man to open the door for me, but I respect women who want
a career, who forge out a career. I
respect also the woman who works to pay her own bills. And the woman who has to work even if she doesn’t
want to. But. But it is the responsibility, the duty of
every woman to ensure if she has a child that that child has the best care
possible for each and every day. That
may be her, or her mother/aunt/sister/cousin/husband or it may be an excellent
nanny, or childminder. It may be a great
neighbour, or grannie. But, in my
opinion, in my own view, it should not be dumped in a nursery from 6am till 6pm
and nor should it be with a grandmother who calls it a shit. It may be oh so old fashioned my friend, but
I swear that society would be a better place if parents were actively rewarded
for bringing up good children and mums/dads were held in the highest of regard
and given financial benefits to stay at home and raise the children
themselves. Motherhood (and fatherhood
for the stay at home dad) should be a career, should be a respected, well paid
career, for I guarantee you, when done well, no job is harder and none carries
with it such lifelong consequences.
The sun is shining. The grass is greener, people are smiling,
everything seems lighter, brighter. How
wonderful it all is. People are a lot
friendlier in the sunshine, maybe that’s why the British has so much cool
reserve and stiff upper lip – we live under a raincloud. But today clouds are dispersed and we have
sun. Obviously within two days we’ll be
moaning it’s too hot and we can’t sleep.
My son has a new home, one he has bought, which is
odd as only a year or two ago I bought one too, as a newlywed, with no children………
how did the time flash by so quickly. I
lost my home, not in a ‘goodness-where-have-I-put-it way, but omg no money kind
of way. I am proud my son has bought his
and I know he will be happy in it; it’s a warm and welcoming place.
My daughter is off to India soon, a place hotter
than hot so she will thrive, she will absorb spice, heat and strange ways and
the adventure will be hers to have.
So both are off and independent and I love
it. And a small portion of me still sits
by the window of that once owned home and waits for them to run in from school,
awash with news and tales, carrying plans and seeking food. So, as we slip into the great Summer Holiday
of schooltime I hope that the majority of parents welcome it, that families
enjoy being together, laugh together, play together and learn together. For, if nothing else, you probably won’t have
to watch them starve to death.
http://www.dec.org.uk/
