Benedict Cumberbatch - well everyone's talking about him these days!

These days one can barely open a paper, nor log online, nor step in a shop without stumbling over Benedict Cumberbatch, the guy is everywhere.  This is obviously his time.  And very well he’s playing it too, and I speak in some admiration, I think he is a very good actor, so I shall join in the voices of praise and add to them – Third Star.  This is the first film I have ever watched twice in a row, and would watch again tomorrow.  Beautifully acted, funny, moving and a simple tale very well told.  Had I never liked Benedict before I would love him now.  Watch it at least twice and listen to the dialogue, it’s very well written.

Lent then.

Each day I have continued to strive to do my one act of kindness to a stranger, but I think I have had to double up, in that some days I have met no stranger, and other days I have done two kind acts.  And I have reviewed what kindness is, but only so far as to give myself a headache and gave up.  Some kindnesses give to the giver equally to and maybe even more than those that receive I think.  At a talk we went to there was also a prize presentation for a poetry competition that had been run at local schools.  I went to the winner afterwards and congratulated him on his win.  He beamed at me with such pleasure and delight at his win and his congratulations that it was his kindness to me that shone the brighter.  

On a site that gave points for surveys I donated the points to charities, I donated to Smile train, to varying charities.  I gave books to Oxfam, left books on benches for people to discover (books from charity shops, so a double point??)  I spoke to a shopkeeper about her sign saying she may have to go out of business.  I found random people on Just Giving and sent them £1 from Anonymous.  I gave reviews on peoples sites.  I ‘liked’ people’s blogs (that I did like).  I smiled more, asked how people were more.  I cared for three lively dogs and fed 16 chickens.  I enquired about peoples goals at a college.  And it continues.  

Am I fulfilling my Lent promise?  I don’t know.  But I am trying.

Oh I have found a great blog – A girl called Jack.  Great fun, its worth looking up the story behind the girl.  I have copied down many a recipe and I will endeavour to make and bake, although I will inevitably alter each and every recipe…… who knows maybe I will actually get the hang of putting photo’s on blogs and place some tempting dishes upon these pages.

Good Things in Little Packages (Lent part three)

How can it be so hard to do nice things for strangers?  Well, it seems I sit in an office most of the day, interact with known salespeople at lunchtime and then go home.  So no strangers bring themselves into my day needing kindness.  Therefore some must have kindness thrust upon them.

6. Occasionally I, like most other drivers (but certainly not all) let people into my flow of traffic from their flow of traffic, or in from side roads, junctions or garages.  And occasionally they are invisible so I drive right on by.  Today I made a point of letting in all who needed to be let in, whenever I could.  Not many, but a few.  The best, and, as it turned out, the last, was a fox.  At 5.15pm, daylight, a fox emerged from the bank on the left of the A4 and trotted almost casually across.  I had seen it emerge, expected it to run, but no.  It limped a little, and as I approached in my car it turned its face to look at me, then carried on.  Quite nonchalant.  So part of my kindness to a stranger turned out to be not running over a fox, and, whilst doing so, probably annoying the seven cars forced to slow down behind me.

My glasses are returned in a most peculiar set of good luck moments. I had proof that I had indeed left the glasses at the charity shop as I saw my glasses case on sale as soon as I entered the shop.  Turns out they threw the glasses away.  But it had been in the last lot of the day, so would probably be on top.  Turns out that the bin had been emptied.  But it had only ten minutes before been put in the outside bin.  Turns out it was an industrial size bin.  But only five minutes of searching amongst puzzles and broken books and they were spotted.  Turns out the bin men were due to come but hadn’t arrived.  What luck!  They were not even scratched, broken, twisted or warped.

7. Today my kindness to strangers is invisible.

          1. I will not get cross with the lady who very nearly ran me over with her trolley in the shop

          2. I will not scowl at the shop assistant who dropped a box of milk at my feet.

          3. I will not judge the suit clad businessman who walked past saying to his suit clad businessman colleagues ‘well, ideally, my plan is that when my youngest starts school I’d like my wife to return to work’

Ah well, two out of three.

Why not, my wife wants to return to work?  Or Our plan is…?  Or My wife says that…?

Never a good deed goes unpunished (Lent part two)

4.  Well some days you just can’t seem to help people!  Went to town to deliver the food to the homeless cook lady.  At the car park there were two guys, fishing around for change.  They only needed £1, and it occurred to me to offer them change, I looked in my purse, a solitary £1.  Ok, so then it occurred to me to pay for their parking.  I approached them, just as the younger one said ‘oh, got it now’.  Foiled.

All was not lost, as I returned to my car it occurred to me that I still had over an hour’s parking on the ticket, and, casting car park requests and legalities aside, I decided I would give the ticket to the next person who came to park.  A lady approached the machine, I swung myself out of my car and approached, just in time to see a lady also approach, ticket extended with a cheery ‘would you like my ticket’ peal coming from her.  Darn, foiled again.

I went home.

But, not to be outdone, I spotted a small carrier bag that had a few items for the charity shop in it. Aha!  I would seek out some more bits and pieces and take this down to the charity shop.  This done, my box was ticked and I spent the rest of the afternoon with family and eating egg n chips.  

I went home.

No glasses.  I had left my glasses somewhere.  A search, a multi search, calls to family.  Nope.  So, in true Holmes style, I retraced my steps and discovered that the only solution to the mystery could be that, somehow, I had donated my glasses to charity.  So with my pat on the back good deed I had lost glasses that not only enabled me to see, to work and to know what I was eating, but that cost over £100.  Sad times

Two interesting things also arose.  

Initially I couldn’t find the lady who cooked for the homeless, but as I strolled around town I did notice a homeless guy sitting in a doorway.  I felt he would know where to find her for sure, but hesitated to approach.  Why?  I analysed my thoughts and feelings as I wandered around Marks & Spencer’s and concluded its because I am afraid, not of the guy, but of appearing condescending or patronising.  So I just walked up to him and asked my question.  Yes, he did know, gave me directions and I thanked him.  I felt it would be condescending to give him money in exchange and he never asked for anything, I hope I treated him as an equal.  

Lady found I handed over the food, and she told me about her particular involvement.  Her husband works in the baguette/sandwich business and they have left overs.  These she brings down to town for the homeless.  She had a lot, and they were all fresh and looked really nice.  On my return to my car I wondered, what happened to them if the homeless didn’t want them?

5. A charity collecting toiletries for the homeless, they have a wash centre where the people can go, wash, get clean, brush their teeth etc.  They needed donations.  One of my blocks of Crabtree & Evelyn soaps on the way to them.  I hope they like the scent as much as I do.

Two Conversations and a bit of Lent (part one)

I once went to a talk given by a young Buddhist monk, the one thing I recall is him saying to be thankful every day.  He said he didn’t mean to thankful for life, but thankful for those who added to your life without knowing you.  He said that when he walked at night, he would be thankful for the people who put up the street lights, to the people who ran the electricity, so that his journey would not be in the dark.  He said that when in a car he would notice the barriers, the speed restrictions, the warning signs, all to keep him safe, and be thankful.  He was thankful for paths so that he did not have to walk on mud, for bridges, that he could cross a river or a busy road in safety.  When you start to think like this, it’s amazing all the things we take for granted, yet someone, somewhere thought it would be a good idea to keep us safe, secure, warm, not lost, and so many other things.

In church once, at the approach of Lent, our vicar said that perhaps instead of thinking of what we would give up for Lent, we could instead plan to take up something for Lent.  A good thing, a giving thing perhaps.  Something that would be of benefit, rather than something than to avoid.  So instead of giving up Haribo (which I hate) or Fig rolls (still hate) I shall be taking something up.

I decided to do something nice every day for a stranger.  Just see what each day brought by way of opportunity and act accordingly. So here we go;

1  1. I put some food on the freecycle network and requested that it went to a charity.  Lots of replies, but two stood out.  One was from a lady who collected food with which to feed the homeless and on Saturday I shall be taking along half the food to her.  The other was from a mother of two young teenage boys.  Their father had skipped off leaving them with a pile of debt and a house about to be repossessed.  They had lived in hostels for a year and were recently granted a house, not in the area they had lived in before, and needing more than a little tlc but it was a home.  She was struggling to make ends meet as a lot of single parents are.  So the second half of the food went to her.

     2. Well this started out as something for me……. I saw a veil on freecycle and thought it would make a great dressing up piece for my niece, and asked for it.  I was honest about why I wanted it.  The man said that it had belonged to his wife, she had died 14 years previously and he felt it was time to move on and let it go.  He was happy it was going to be used for such a nice purpose.  So, a good thing for him too. 

3. At work we are opposite a shop and people will insist on parking in our allocated spaces so they can nip across and do their shopping.  It’s very frustrating, especially if it leaves us with nowhere to park.  Many an argument has been sparked by people behaving in this manner.  So when I arrived to find a car slung casually into my space I was not a happy bunny.  The owner was returning and for a second I was going to glare at him, but then thought better of it and smiled, he apologised, I said no worries, he said he had to make a last minute dash and he was really sorry he’d taken my space.  He thanked me and left.  And about 3 minutes later than I could have done I parked in my space.  3 minutes and a smile. No loss.